Dr. Katiah Llerena, PhD

Self-sacrifice is a noble trait…wait, is it? Sometimes it’s necessary, but it can also be detrimental to our physical, emotional, and mental health. If you find yourself constantly putting others’ needs before your own, it’s essential to take steps to overcome this tendency and prioritize your own well-being. Here are some actionable steps to help you overcome tendencies to self-sacrifice:

1. Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial in preventing resentment and burnout from consistently setting aside your needs. Identify the areas in your life where you need to set boundaries and be clear and assertive in communicating them to others.
2. Practice Self-Care: Self-care is not selfish; it’s a vital component of maintaining good mental and emotional health. Make time for yourself each day, whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or engaging in a hobby that brings you joy.
3. Prioritize Your Own Needs: It’s easy to fall into the trap of putting others’ needs before your own, but this can lead to resentment and burnout. Make a conscious effort to prioritize your own needs and make time for activities that bring you joy. Schedule activities like meetings that you can’t miss.
4. Learn to Say “No”: Saying “no” can be difficult, especially if you’re a people-pleaser, but it’s essential in maintaining healthy boundaries and preventing burnout. Practice saying “no” in a polite and assertive way, and remember that it’s okay to prioritize your own needs.
5. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and prevent you from getting caught up in automatic patterns of behavior. Take a few moments each day to practice mindfulness through meditation, deep breathing, or simply focusing on the present moment.
6. Seek Support: Overcoming tendencies to self-sacrifice can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you identify and overcome unhealthy patterns of behavior.

If you’re reading this and you have strong tendencies to self-sacrifice, you may find it difficult to even think about doing things differently….for yourself…based on your deep truth. Be patient with yourself and start small. Just noticing when you are sacrificing is a great place to start. Over time, small steps will add up to more conscious efforts to prioritize your own well-being. This will allow you to build healthy relationships and a well-balanced lifestyle that honors YOU!

Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for maintaining good physical, emotional, and mental health.